camp-isms

so i was on my way to take a shower tonight (yes, i walk outside 60 steps to the bathhouse to shower or pee. get over it.) and i ran into one of my co-workers (scott- the one who calls me 'fern gully') and we got into a conversation about our students for a few minutes.

afterwards i kind of laughed to myself at the oddities that make up the world of camp. there are so many very strange things that seem very normal to "camp people". granted, they're not necessarily universal, and it depends on one's role at camp, but i suppose that at some point most people will encounter one or all of these camp-isms.

here's the start of a much larger list...

1) immersing yourself in a very deep conversation with someone else... while standing in the woods holding your toothbrush/pajamas/shower caddy, etc. because you were on your way to the bathhouse.

2) no separation between work and non-work life, except for on days off. (and even then it's not always easy) this phenomenon is far worse if you live on camp.

3) having conversations about how often (or infrequently) you shower/do laundry,etc.

4) developing a very thorough understanding of your co-workers' eating habits (mostly because you all have the same options for meals). the best for me was at honeyrock- we'd come in for a meal and it was always someone's favorite or least favorite meal. my favorite honeyrock meal was quesadilla day and my least was grilled cheese... the only good thing about grilled cheese day is knowing tomorrow is not grilled cheese day.

5) remember certain guests/campers. "remember billy? and joey from the week after? yeah, this kid is like a combination of both of them... but more whiney." (that's not an actual quote, but things like that happen often)

6) irregular sleeping patterns

7) irregular schedules (ah but the familiarity of consistent inconsistency)

8) the fact that none of us make very much money... but we love what we do (even if we neglect to show it as frequently as we should)

that's it for now.

because i need to dry my hair, then sleep. i have to work early shift tomorrow.... grossssssss.

white flakes glistening with hope

this whole week has been a tease.

every morning when i wake up my eyes snap open and i thrust aside the curtains in hopes of witnessing a crisp white blanket covering the decaying remnants of fall.

no such luck thus far.

on monday it "snowed" for like 3 minutes- and by "snow" i mean pathetic little white dots fell from the sky. lame.

today after lunch i looked outside and gasped audibly, then went running out the front door when i saw more visible white flakes falling from the sky. alas, this was short lived, but i enjoyed twirling outside in the parking lot cheering the fragile flakes earthward.

this week has been really great for a number of reasons. my heart has just been filled with hope and a sense of adventure. i can feel the hand of the Lord holding me, my eyes fixed on Him as he whispers how He loves me so much that He will provide for me in every possible way- far beyond my wildest dreams.

and it's this hope that brings me joy, which seems fitting for this advent season. it's the preparation for christmas that people love so much. 25 days of christmas movies, nonstop christmas music for over a month, weeks of "holiday" themed everything... we love getting ready for christmas. and, for me at least, this is why the actual event itself is often somewhat of a letdown. it happens, it's over, and inevitably a new year is coming.

it's the hope of the holiday (and hopefully the hope of what the holiday represents) that gets people excited.

these things have been stirring in my mind this evening.

hope for the holiday season and, ultimately, hope for the future.

i got an unexpected phone call this evening that provides hope for whatever is next after my season here at clear lake. it brought me vast amounts of hope, peace, and joy. when we hung up, i was bubbling over with excitement at the prospect of what could be. and as i walked outside to switch my laundry the biggest flakes of the season danced in the air around me.

and looking outside my window right now i'm watching them as they fall, white flakes glistening with the hope of what could be.

"time together is just never quite enough. when you and i are alone, i've never felt so at home. what will it take to make or break this hint of love? only time, only time..." owl city, the saltwater room

going, going, gone....

there are not words to begin to describe how incredibly beautiful the moon is this evening. i tried to take a picture, but it doesn't even come close to doing it justice... seriously.

and i know the God that made that moon, that created the scene above me this evening.

praise be to God.

angela had commented on the beautiful state of the sky, but i still didn't really notice it until i walked outside a few minutes ago. in my 60 steps to the bathhouse i had some deep thoughts, desperate yearnings, bubbling up of hope...

the moon doesnt shine because it's lit up inside. the moon's "light" is a reflection of the sun. so really, moonlight is sunlight. some nights it's pitch black outside, other evenings there is just a sliver of crescent moon hanging in the distance. i've seen deep red harvest moons and hazy halos on delicate winter nights. last year at honeyrock i still can vividly remember one night when some of us GPAs got back from town and just gasped in awe of the unbelievable halo encircling the moon.

how can anyone look up at a sky like that, like the one tonight, and not believe that there is a Creator who loves us and cares for His creation and creates these scenes over and over in uniquely endless ways for our enjoyment? all of creation worships the Creator, and the bright moonlight is just one small example of this truth.

the moon is so bright that it's almost an eerie replica of daylight.

and i want to shine like that.

i want to find a way to reflect God's light that it makes them stop in wonder and awe and question where that brightness has come from. it's not from the moon, but a reflection of the sun.

----

i work for a public school. we're not allowed to pray before meals, instead we have a "moment of silence" so people can give thanks in any way they choose.

i never pray for the food.

i always pray something like this, "Lord give me the strength to show your love to the people i work with today, children and adults alike. grant me peace, patience, and the overwhelming ability to love that only comes from you."

it's not always that eloquent.

and i love the days when i remember to pray that prayer... and the ways i see God work through it.

this week i have the privilege of having 3 boys with special needs in my class. these kids bring me an immeasurable amount of joy. i wish i didnt have to teach at all this week and could just spend all of my time walking with them, helping them, loving them. they are so amazing to me. i have this defensive heart for them too- one of the other students from another class got a disgusted look on his face when jacob, a child with fairly high functioning autism, sat next to him during the game i was facilitating this evening during "battle of the gameshows". i may have overreacted... but i got close to him, used my serious voice, and let him know that i saw the way he responded and i would not tolerate that kind of behavior in my classroom.

i just get overwhelmed with justice for these kids. it happened to me this summer too, when some of the high school boys were picking on a boy with CP in their cabin... i wanted to scream, wait, i actually think i did... and those high school boys ridiculed me for close to an hour because of it. it was horrible, but who else will stand up for those who can't stand up for themselves? someone has to.

i vow to protect those who are [weak, poor, sick, afraid, abused, marginalized, mistreated, unable, different, defenseless...]

i want to live a life that stands up for those who can't stand up for themselves.

----------

"the world is glistening, we found our warmest coats, you pulled your tall boots on, out in the winter snow we're going, going gone..." ellery, going gone

falling slowly

i'm a music addict and i won't be able to sleep until i get it out there how much i love this song. i rediscovered it through a random series of events, and it's so hauntingly beautiful that it just brings me chills.

it's from the movie "once"

falling slowly

i don't know you, but i want you all the more for that

words fall through me and always fool me and i can't react

games that never amount to more than they're meant will play themselves out

take this sinking boat and point it home, we've still got time

raise your hopeful voice, you have a choice, you've made it now

falling slowly, eyes that know me, and i can't go back

moods that take me and erase me and i'm painted black

you have suffered enough, and warred with yourself, it's time that you won

....

*sigh*

so good.

p.s. happy december.

specks of snow as seasons change

soooo life is apparently a series of electrical issues lately for me. my car is a bit screwy right now- i'm convinced something is wired incorrectly, and i just had a weird power surge in my cabin... resulting in one of my strands of white lights burning out. sad.

but that's not why i started writing tonight.

i'm trying to renew my relationship with writing. i love to write. really i do. i just get distracted sometimes. and i've been distracted lately i guess.

a year ago was my first day at honeyrock.

weird.

i thought about it a little today because it was quite chilly outside today and we had a minute amount of snow fall from the sky. come on snow! i haven't seen you since may! (yeah, that's a weird thing to say... but it's true. oh northern wisconsin...)

also i had to laugh today about nicknames... so my friend bob commented to our friend evan about me and called me "pancake". i've decided that bob thinks calling me "krista pancake" is the best thing ever. it makes me laugh. but he's not the first to give me this nickname. today lori commented that she thought of "pinecone" instead of "pancake", which is also a common nickname for me. and by common i do mean that in the last few years of my life. yes, i didnt have nicknames growing up. sandi called me "kippy" for a little while in high school, but that's about it. there's not a lot you can do with my first name, especially since i do not like being called "kris" (except when my mom does it, because moms have that liberty). today (more than once i think) scott called me "fern gully" which he has been doing all fall. i enjoy this very much. it always makes me laugh. (fern gully is a movie about saving the rainforest- the main character is a fairy named christa)

this weekend i went to ohio. i know, i know, it goes against my entire belief system, but, to be honest, i had a really great time. that's right ohio, you win... for now...

i hung out with my new friend bob (though i dont think i can call him that anymore since we've known each other for a month and a half now... when is something not "new" anymore??) and his friends. we went to a parade in the tiiiiiiny town of bluffton. i was incredibly amused. and equally delighted. then we had a quick bite to eat/beer tasting before heading out to hear live music at coffee amici. it was SO awesome! i loved every second of it. :)

afterwards we went back to bob's house (with like 20 of his friends) and had a dance party! i just kept thinking "i love my life"... i also met bob's sister lori- and i think she's pretty fantastic. :) yay for new friends!

sunday morning bob and i ate breakfast together- slowly. that sounds really weird, i'll own that, but hear me out. i work at camp, so eating meals is often part of my job. and i usually have to shove food in my mouth as quickly as possible in order to deal with children who are doing stupid things. i can eat dinner in 5 minutes flat. or less if needed... and i can eat breakfast while writing up a kid for misbehaving. i've done both before. and i'll do it again. anyway, so my point is i always eat fast lately and i hate it. so when we made breakfast on sunday (microwave oatmeal, sliced apple, and orange juice) we sat at the table and talked and i found myself eating super slowly, though i'll admit it was partly because i made my oatmeal WAY too hot, so i had to let it cool. but the whole thing just stuck in my mind because it was so nice to sit and talk and enjoy breakfast like that, even if it was just microwave oatmeal...

after our slow breakfast we went to bob's church- there was a discussion beforehand about the "advent conspiracy" book they're reading and i was a little nervous since i hadn't read any of it, but it was so great! i even felt comfortable enough to join in the discussion, and that old familiar excited passion boiled up inside of me when we talked about truly caring for and loving people.

so, so good.

*sigh*

life is crazy.

life is unpredictable.

life is full of possibilities.

life is good.

"i'd rather be the one who loves than to be loved and never even know." snow is gone, josh ritter

happy holidays...

it's that time of year again.

wow.

i hope i get into the "christmas spirit" this year. i have found myself getting more and more lame in that department. i blame the fact that for most of my life i was singing christmas songs for choir for months in advance and there were always all sorts of festive events to prepare. and now... well, it still hasn't even snowed here yet.

lame.

a year ago i was just 2 days from leaving for honeyrock.

weird

very weird

it seems much longer ago than that.

mmm i probably have a lot to say right now, but to be honest, i just havent been into writing lately. not on here, not in my journal, nothing.

not really sure why either.

still debating what to do tomorrow. i would like to go to rei and get a free gift card. i would also like it to be worth $100. but $5 would be worth it too. i do NOT want to battle traffic and risk my life for it either.

decisions.

it would be more fun if i had someone to go with, but i couldnt find any takers.

*sigh*

hanging out with frances tomorrow. and also trying to get my car fixed. gross.

i'm so grumpyyyyy.

failllllllll

i fail at blogging lately.

and even this is probably going to be pretty short. or just barely long enough to update everything that's been happening in the past 2 weeks.

life is good right now.

so good.

i'm always doing all sorts of fun things, which i love, and i enjoy my job about 86% of the time. that's a pretty good average i think. that makes me have a B/B+ job. my least favorite parts are waking up to go to work (which isnt that bad because i live at camp) and not having a bathroom in my cabin. though this week i'm on dorms, so i do have a bathroom... but i'm sharing it with 42 5th graders. yikes.

i spent last weekend up at springhill for a junior's retreat. it was crazy. it was awesome. it was camp. i'm so in love, i can't help it. if i could choose between getting married and getting my dream job at camp i'm fairly certain i'd choose the job. yep. i do like my job now, but it's not a forever kind of job. or even a 5 year kind of job. but it suits me very well right now.

i bought a plane ticket to washington. i'm going for about 10 days before christmas to help out murphy/alex at cheese louise. i'm mega excited. i wish i could stay longer, but the prices were really high and i didnt want to cut it too close to christmas. so i'll be there from dec 12-22. also mom said she's looking into tickets to florida for about the 25-31ish to see grandpa and grandma. woot. and january 11 i get out my wisdom teeth. BARF. things i am not looking forward to...

soooo yeah. that's a quick rundown of life i suppose. this weekend i'm possibly headed to illinois, next weekend i'm for sure headed to illinois, wheaton specifically to hang out with some AMP friends. :) then i have the whooooole week of for thanksgiving. woot.

time to check up on the well-being of the small children....