i sometimes judge people who just stand there on the moving walk at airports. i've always felt that the purpose of the moving walk is for those who are in a huge rush to dash by like superman, propelled by the force of the long treadmill-like belt. it's also a great way to people watch more people per minute if you're sitting on the sidelines staring at the walk like i am right now.
but i became 'that guy' who just stood there like an idiot today on the moving walk- completely defeated by the airport system. you win. you've broken me down. congratulations.
i'm supposed to be in california right now, hanging out with evan and a bunch of other friends. that is why i woke up at dark thirty to catch a plane from detroit. if i wanted to arrive in california late at night i would have arranged for that.
united airlines didnt get that memo.
our flight to denver was nearing an end. i had to pee really badly and passed the time by reading "cold tangerines" by shauna neiquist and listening to 2 sermons on the beattitudes. my seatmate mitch did offer to let me watch a movie on his laptop with him. i kindly declined.
i was feeling pretty satisfied with my productivity for the day thus far as we began circling the denver airport... 45 minutes later we were still circling, then rerouted to wyoming since we couldn't land due to the fog.
i know what you're thinking... "WHAT!?"
yes. wyoming. not an exciting place. i thought the rhinelander airport was the smallest i'd ever been in. then i thought the green bay was the smallest. ladies and gentlemen, the airport i was in today is by far the SMALLEST airport i've ever been in. oh my. so that was delightful... but at least i got to pee.
so we reboarded and by then we'd pretty much all missed our connecting flights.
joy.
they communicated to us that we should make our way to the "customer service" centers upon arrival to find out the flights we'd been rebooked on.
we rushed off the plane... and i stood in a line with over 100 people ahead of me. NOT JOKING. i stood there for 2 hours... and even then i didnt really make it to the front, i had some sidestep moves with another passenger. (i did try to call united to expedite the process, but the lady on the phone was NOT helpful at all in any way and just made me very angry) i got booked on a flight to leave denver at 9pm. yes, i was supposed to leave denver at 11am.
you do the math.
so i sighed and went to find some food, which i had to pay for on my own because they informed me they did not issue food vouchers. thank you united airlines, please steal an entire day from my vacation then leave me hungry, undercaffeinated, and dehydrated. jerks.
this angered me so...
i thought i'd go for some mexican food at this place that looked mildy like qdoba. it was the nastiest food i've ever had. (ok that may be an exaggeration, but i'm grumpy)
thankfully i have my computer and was keeping myself entertained by facebooking and writing a strongly worded email to united airlines and then decided to check what time the flights were leaving today.
much to my surprise i found that united airlines online was selling ONE ticket for the 6:50pm flight out of denver to cali and i quickly raced back to the customer service center in hopes of switching flights.
after waiting in line about 10 minutes i suddenly realized my jacket (containing my wallet) was not with me. yes, i left it at the table where i consumed the nasty burrito. i literally RAN to the table (up an escalator too) and thank GOD it was still there, wallet and all. i almost cried.
i headed back to the service center, waited in line a half hour or so, then begged the ticket agent to switch my flight. i was seriously on the verge of tears at this point as i explained my situation. the man worked some magic and printed out the very last seat on the 6:50 flight to cali!
as a reward i headed to TCBY for some frozen yogurt. this is actually when i noticed that my wallet had been in my jacket the whole time. i overpayed, er, i mean ordered a strawberry frozen yogurt, because that's what i remember getting from there when i was a kid. but i think when i was a kid i got sprinkles with it... i decided i am jittery enough today, i dont need any more sugar.
i then began heading towards the terminal where i will be able to begin boarding at 620, only to realize i was headed in the wrong direction. but i'm in no rush.
i was that guy and i didn't care.
the spoon and the yogurt were my pacifier completing the full transformation as i reverted to this childlike state today. temper tantrums, tears, overtired...
i watched a little girl ahead of me, probably 4 years old, leaned with her head on the railing of the moving walk, staring behind her as blankly as i was staring ahead. i wished i would have had some strawberry yogurt for her.
and now i'm that guy who's sitting against a wall near an outlet charging mac and my phone, shoes off (and my feet do smell), with a melted dribble of strawberry yogurt congealing in the bottom of a paper cup next to me, as i'm half heartedly watching the people on the moving walk go by, wondering if they've had a day like mine.
*sigh*
"i think i'm safer on an airplane than a world without love..." copeland, safer on an airplane
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